What's your gut reaction when a new connection introduces themself as a business advisor or coach?

I'll be honest - I cringe.

There are a bunch of reasons for that, but the short version is that the lion's share of business advisors and coaches that I've worked with in any capacity aren't *really* interested in helping me succeed.

Or, more specifically, they're not interested in helping me succeed *by my definition of success*.

Whether they channel Gary V or Tim Ferriss or Simon Sinek - some of them just conduct themselves like business doms, with or without consent - most of those coaches haven't actually cared much about *me*.

That can take the form of prescriptive advice - everybody who does it does it *this* way.

It can look like projection - *your* version of success isn't right until it matches *mine*.

It can look like gaslighting and other abuse - being told that my thoughts, feelings, expertise, experience, or needs are invalid or wrong.

My experience is surely not everybody's, or at least I hope it's not, but I know I'm not alone in this either.

Compassionate, empathetic advice is *critical* for advisors who don't want their clients and contacts to have to sell their souls, to rebuild their personalities, to give up the *reasons* for their businesses to achieve *results* in their businesses.

I didn't start my business to make an eight or nine figure exit ASAP. I don't want to break down and abandon my usual laid-back, calm personality to remake myself in some guru's image, or to exhaust myself wearing a mask that looks like that any time I'm working towards my goals. I want to work with people who will respect that and help me find that success *because* of who and what I am rather than *in spite* of it.

Do you feel this, too? Have you managed to find good advisors who both validate and respect you *and* help you get where you want to be in business or life? If you haven't, then how much of a difference could a relationship like that make for you and your business?